It's About Love

Yesterday was yet another amazing day in the journey of little Caleb (or muffin, as Tanya calls him), & Tanya (Tyler's sister, FYI) gave me permission to share a bit with you. All parties were OK'd to leave the hospital yesterday, so at about 10AM Tanya became a birthmother & Brian & Jennifer became parents. Though very different from my own experience it was truly amazing. It was so emotional for me to be a part of the process from the position of a supporter, & to be able to see a bit of what my family felt when I went through this process 6 years ago. Tanya was so strong but I never knew my heart could ache so intensely for another person, while at the same time being so full of joy for this woman who has waited so long & gone through so much to have the elation of bearing the title 'mom'. There is absolutely nothing like it in the world. I remember my sister telling me how proud & amazed she was that I was able to make another woman a mother who otherwise might never have been, but the reality of how incredible that is never truly & completely sunk in until now.

Tanya & I were able to spend some time after placement, just the 2 of us, talking, crying, laughing, thinking, crying, eating & bonding something fierce. Despite the age difference etc. it's so awesome to have someone who can truly relate to you, because it's just not something anyone who hasn't been through it can fully comprehend. She'll never understand what a strength she is to me now. I'm so proud of her, relieved that everything went so well & utterly grateful that I was able to be in the midst of it all.

I must also say thank you now to my family & loved ones who were so supportive, kind, forgiving, & unconditionally loving when I was going through this. I have come to believe that Heavenly Father put me in this position for Tanya to give me a better understanding & appreciation of what you all felt.

THANK YOU.

I'm sorry I've never said it before, like a million times like you all deserve. And Thank You, Tanya for letting me be a part of all this. You are amazing.

If you see me in the next couple of days, know that I did not have any plastic surgery gone wrong. I have been nearly in shambles for about 24 hours now, which for me = not pretty. Just a fair warning.